Tuesday, September 09, 2008
Today I was informed the letter of the day was "H" and the word "shut" should be spelled with an "o" instead of a "u". There was also some comments about playing with a house at choice time and then playing something else when someone wanted the house she was playing with. She also detailed how many minutes she played at each station and the entire contents of her hot lunch... including condiments and spork. She also informed me how she ate said lunch and which condiments she used and blended to make it taste good.
Sunday, September 07, 2008
Ok... maybe not. I am awake on September 7th at 2 am because this is when I watched my house burn down. Ok... maybe it wasn't MY house. But it was the closest thing I had to a home at the time.
The word "Insurance" makes me want to vomit. They drag their feet and we struggle. They want to stop paying for our rent... they withhold information about extra available money. I hate them. Unfortunately this is a company designed to work with churches... so they have policies in place to give churches the minimum amount possible? I try to remind myself to pray for them... so far it isn't working.
I try to remind myself that we just lost "things" that have no real worth. But the sentimental loss is still devastating. I will never show my girls my wedding dress. I will never again hold the teddy bear my mom purchased when she found out she was pregnant. The last quilt my great-grandma made (Out of her own dresses from the 50's) can never be replaced. The crib I placed my 3 oldest babies in is gone. My emotional security is gone.
We live in constant fear. Electrical issues, smoke, alarms, fire engines, sirens... they send us into a panic attack. Will I ever feel safe?
Even if we are able to rebuild, I doubt I would ever be able to live there. The constant fear and mourning would be too much.
Most days I wish we could go... but God has determined otherwise. Anyone stating that my relationship with God must be lacking will be harmed! If I didn't trust God has a purpose for this mess... I wouldn't be here. With my altered state... I wonder if I am really here.
I hope that someday Maggie and Abbie forget about "The house with the stairs" because they regularly state that they miss it. They remember the toys that they lost. They remember not having shoes to go to school. It just reminds me how hard it has been... not just over the last year, but since we followed God's call to come here. It has been 3 years 3 months since we took this call and we have been constantly tested.
Please pray for us, because I am sure that these trials aren't over.
Thursday, September 04, 2008
In this town, Antique includes the 60's. When generations are less than 20 years apart, you have your grandma's "antique" furniture from the 60's... and you even call it an antique. I am thinking this is a unique cultural phenomenon.
Tuesday, September 02, 2008
Monday, September 01, 2008
How long were your labors?
Kid #1, 12 hours.
Kid #2, 4 hours
Kid #3, 3 hours.
Kid #4, 2 hours.
How did you know you were in labor?
Kid #1, water breaking.
Kid #2, water breaking.
Kid #3, contractions all day
Kid #4, Woke from a nap with mind numbing pain!
Where did you deliver?
Kid 1+2 Hospital
Kid 3+4 Home
Kid 1 yes.
Kids 2,3,4 no.
Kid #1 Midwife
Kid #2 Dr.
Kid #3+4 Jason