After dinner contract

After dinner while handing out Oreos: "By accepting these Oreos you are contractually obligated to leave your mother alone for the next hour"


By accepting said dessert they entered into an unwritten contract allowing for the passage of no less than 1 (one) hour before any additional services can be demanded of the previously mentioned attending parent. Aforementioned contract only applies to children in possession of enough education to adequately translate the intent of said contract. Subjects not in possession of said skills are not legally bound but encouraged to abide by any past, present and future contract.


‎*In the event of fire, death, dismemberment, blood, broken bones, and act of God: contracted may break contract with mama.

‎*In the event of catastrophic poop or vomit disaster please contact papa.

Broken contracts will be punished with copious amounts of chores.